Why Do Certain Teammates Drive Me Nuts

Recently, my team did a DISC workshop. Shameless plug—it was part of our gear up for the new Team Builder division called Team Builder Training. We’ve been using DISC for a long time to answer questions like: Is this person’s personality a possible match for the position they are interviewing for, or How does this person’s profile compare to others who are successful in this role? But as a company, we decided it was time to take DISC a step further and a step deeper and offer it as a team building tool for our highly valued clients. It fit with our mission of positively impacting lives and communities by serving growing businesses. It ended up being a great exercise for us in understanding each other better and understanding where some of our misunderstandings have come from.

Anyway, back to why people get on your nerves… Maybe it’s that teammate who brings you ALL the details. Maybe it’s the teammate that walks in, tells you what they need from you and walks back out without even giving you a friendly hello. Maybe it’s the teammate that is so full of ideas that they just don’t quit. Or the one who sits quietly in meetings during a lively debate of ideas and has nothing to contribute. All these little annoyances can start to build up if you don’t have a context to understand human differences or a framework for your team to be conscientious of how their way of being in the world can impact their teammates. I bet if you read down these brief summaries, you might find yourself in one of these descriptions, and moreover, you might find some of the things in others that tend to rub you the wrong way.

Dominance

People with a strong D personality are typically focused on results and move at a quick pace. They want it done and done fast. They might tell you that the end justifies the means, and communication will often be direct or even blunt. If you give them a goal, they’ll move heaven and earth to hit it.

Influence

High I personality types love people, ideas, optimism, and fun. They tend to be expressive and persuasive. They may overtalk their point to get you on their side. They are fast-paced and people-oriented. They’ll bring energy to your team.

Steadiness

Those high S teammates are sensitive, patient, reliable, and always willing to serve others. They may offer you help without being asked. They tend to prefer a slower pace and are more oriented towards people than tasks. An S can sometimes love harmony to a fault; they typically avoid conflict.

Compliance

Your teammate that dots every “i” and crosses every “t” probably has a high C score. They move at a slower pace and focus on tasks. They dive into the details, and sometimes they get lost there. They can be slow to make a decision because they will carefully consider many aspects, but once they’ve landed on one, you may find it tough to change their mind. They crave reasons, facts, data, and streamlined systems.

The beauty of understanding personality is that gives you a framework for understanding yourself and those around you in neutral terms. You can understand the strengths they bring to your team as well as perhaps some of their weak points.

Knowing that Joe wants you to get to the point, Alex needs an outlet for his ideas, Kelly appreciates a warm hello in the morning, and Susan values the details is a valuable insight for you as a leader. If you can learn to identify your pattern and the patterns of others you work with, you can learn to adapt your communication style in a way that, 1) builds relationships and credibility with your team, and 2) reduces miscommunication and misunderstandings. Some of those irritants become less frustrating when you have a framework for understanding where they are coming from—an innate behavioral pattern, not necessarily some deliberate intent to drive you crazy!